On my journey to loosing masses of me is where I am finding me. My weight loss struggle is very real. Not eating the foods I was uses to, (after all, isn’t that why I am over weight) has been a huge challenge. But getting on the scale is both scary and nerve wracking.
Up and down yo-yo
For years I would go up and down with my weight. Always with a lot of work and calorie counting. Checking everything that would go into my mouth. Working out as hard as I could and for fairly long stints at a time. I would go from one program to another.
I always had good intentions, I always put 100% into my challenges and efforts to lose the weight and keep it off, but there was one thing that would cause me to fail every time.
I would set a date, set a goal and usually reach that goal (though it was never the final goal) and once I hit that goal or date, I would quit. I would think, “whew, I made it, I did what I set out to do, It won’t hurt me to eat this, or quit this workout and take a break”. But that thought process turned into one day, one week, one month, and before I knew it, I had not only put all the weight back on, I added to it. Therefor, the yo-yo dieting and weight loss.
I decided that I was tired of starting. I would work so hard for so long and lose a lot of weight, 20 + pounds and then I would quit for some reason or another. I had the mindset that I wasn’t really giving up the way I was eating in the past, I was taking a break to lose some weight. In reality, I NEEDED TO QUIT EATING THAT WAY FOR GOOD. I needed to commit to being healthy and quit starting.
When you start a workout regimen, it is hard. When you start a diet, it is hard. I finally got tired of starting. Quitting is easy. Just about anyone can quit a diet or exercise program. But starting is the hardest part. So I decided no matter what diet or exercise program I’m doing, no matter what Weight Loss Challenge or other HealthyWage challenge I join, when it ends, I DON’T!
Weight loss this far
I stared at the beginning of the new year 2018 (yes, again…) you may know the story. But this is going to be the last time I start. I have decided to truly accept the diet change and embrace it. I am learning to enjoy the foods I can have and find other ways to prepare and cook the foods I can have. Finding recipes that are fun and healthy has actually been a great experience.
When I started, I weighed in at 194. Not the heaviest that I have ever been, but close. So now I am weighing in at 174. A whole 20 pounds. It has been a difficult challenge but as of today, I am officially down 20 pounds. I will take it. I keep telling myself I will never be in the 180’s again. Soon I will get to say never will I be in the 170’s again. My goal weight is 145. Will I stop and relapse once I get to 145? NO. I am going to make it my life. Stay tuned to see the transformation. If is also kinda fun to hear my friends say things like, “I keep seeing less and less of you every time I see you.” That is great to hear.
Having people support your efforts is so important. Having those people around you is encouraging and knowing that if you stop, they will still be your friends, but having them encourage you to succeed is even better.
Help for those struggling to lose weight
Everyone is so eager to give you their two cents and take as much of yours as they can get. But when you find the right avenue or the right direction, spending some isn’t so bad. After all, you spent a lot putting it on right? Think about all the food you ate that you shouldn’t have. Or all the junk you bought knowing that it was only going to hurt you in the end. We used to call it “robbing the bank”. We would take $20 or $30 and run to a convince store and get as much junk as we could for that price. It amazed me how much “crap” we could get. We would eat it all in one day and feel so bad, like physically feel horrible. The sugar and flower, and fat, and grease. You know the story. It was enough to clog your arteries. We would do this way too often. Sometimes it would be every single weekend.
So I decided that I needed to stop robbing the bank and start investing. I started to invest in myself. Healthy choices. Not putting anything in my mouth that wouldn’t fuel my body. I started to view food as fuel and not just something I wanted to eat. If it doesn’t fuel me, I don’t want it. It is amazing how I am now hungry for protein. I crave veggies. I no longer want sugary and saturated fats. Now I enjoy eating what makes me feel good.
Making sure I log my food and calories, and I mean EVERYTHING. If it goes in my mouth, it goes in my food diary. I also I’m doing an 8-week workout program. Which is turning into more like 12 weeks because I keep doing a few of the weeks over until I feel like I have it and am ready for the nest faze. Following a program keeps you accountable. Knowing if you don’t do it, you can’t check it off. Having something to be accountable to is also motivating.
My weight loss struggle conclusion
Working hard and seeing results is rewarding. Feeling the changes, seeing the weight come off, finding muscles that I didn’t know existed is exciting. It is HARD. It is TIERING. But it is rewarding. I love to see my energy pick up. Having the ability to move and do things that were either hard before or impossible is exhilarating. I may never have the perfect body, I may never find the end of my struggle, but I am finding myself and finding my way through. Writing is therapeutic as well. If I can encourage anyone to start, to make a healthy choice or change to better their life, then it is all worth it.
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